...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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