Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Panties = found
Randomize
