So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
