Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize