before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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