He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
