Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This baby is an asshole
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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