toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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