Having a random hookup so left but love u
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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