The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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