And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
