Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
