I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
