If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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