i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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