the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Please don't give away my fajitas
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