Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
