So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
