if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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