Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Randomize
