that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
