doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
