its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We are all done wearing pants today
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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