I just pynch a tree in the face
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
