Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
