dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
