Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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