So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
