You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize