Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize