addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
