At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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