I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize