my mouth tastes like poor choices
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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