Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
