Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
well you can't waste a boner
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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