How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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