the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
