i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
