i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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