Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
