im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize