i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
3pm strippers are depressing
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
