i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
