it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize