The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
