you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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