I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
