She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
