so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
