Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
