We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
