She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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