And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
