hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
