I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
