I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
