I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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