Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
