Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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