I'm eating all of the evidence.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
