we have officially lost it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
