Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
