Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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