Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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